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Lizzie & Sappho think I'm "girl meat" till the guys pop out.
"So, what's she look like?"
"She's pretty, really pretty, with long blonde hair down to here," and I chopped my hand down to my waist.
"Real blonde or bottle blonde?"
"Real blonde, but it's a kind of darker blonde, I guess that you call it honey blonde, but her hair is just spectacular. She's got these amazing blue eyes, kind of a lighter blue, but blue-blue, not grey-blue. And she's a brain, really smarty, class valedictorian, and . . . "
"If she's that smart, what is she doing with you? And you still never answered the question." That was Jeff again.
"I'm not so dumb myself, you know, and I'm a lot smarter than you are." We had always joked about that, but I'm not so sure that my tone wasn't quite as joking this time around.
"So, did you close the deal, or not?"
"Yeah, I closed the deal: we're engaged, dude!"
"Oh, shit, you knocked her up!"
"No, I did not 'knock her up.' It's just that, well, it was like some insane magic spell, and things just took off. Our first actual date was a week and a half ago."
"What? And you're already engaged?"
"So, when do we get to meet Miss Jennifer Matthews of the blonde hair down to her ass?"
"She has blonde hair down to her waist, not her ass, and if you are going to say 'ass' to her, or anything else you shouldn't say, the answer is that you'll never meet her. There will be no profanity around Jen."
The other Mark looked at Jeff and said, "Dude has it bad!"
"Oh, yeah, real bad. So, when do we get to meet her and tell her what a louse and a loser you are?"
"OK, if you guys promise to behave yourself, you can meet her here, tomorrow morning; we usually have breakfast together before our 8 AM classes. But no rotten comments, no profanity, and no sex jokes."
"Damn, Mark, what the heck is all of that?"
"Jen is just a very religious girl, and she'd never say anything, but I don't want you guys to offend her."
Rachel's story: Monday afternoon
"Hey, Rachel." Jennifer just knocked and came into my room. "You know that blue print dress of yours, the one that looks like men's dress shirt material?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"What do you think a dress like that would look like on me?"
"Oh, good grief, Jennifer, you're so pretty that anything would look good on you. But that dress is a good six or seven inches above the knee; you sure that you'd want to wear something like that?"
"Well, maybe I'd like it a little bit longer, but not down to my knees."
"Jennifer Matthews, in a mini? What on earth has that boy done to you?"
"You know very well what he's done to me." I couldn't believe it; Jennifer Matthews was teasing about sex!
"Hang on, let me get it out, and you can try it on." So, I opened up the closet, and pulled it out. Jennifer took the dress, turned her back to me, and pulled off her shirt; she wore a bra today. Then she put the dress on, and, after it was on, pulled her jeans down and off. She wasn't as uncomfortable as before, but she was still a bit shy.
"Oh, Jennifer, that dress looks awesome on you! You've got really great legs, and that dress shows them off without being too much. If you wore heels, you'd kill every guy on campus."
"I think that I'll skip the heels; I've never worn them before, and wouldn't know how to walk in them. But my sandals would go pretty good with something like this."
"You can't wear pantyhose with those sandals you have."
"I'll skip the hose; I've never worn that stuff before, either. But now I know what to look for." With that, Jennifer turned back around to take my dress back off. While she could pull her jeans off after she had the dress on, she couldn't easily put them back on without taking of the dress, and there shy little Jennifer was, her back to me, of course, but in just her bra and bikini panties. Will wonders never cease?
"There are some dress shops downtown I could walk to.