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This military training of a different kind.
To further my cause, the fresh sensations of meeting and flirting with new people, was an elixir to the slow disappearance of physicality in my relationship.
As I settled into my new hobby, I found what stimulated me the most was indulging in the taboo, forbidden and frowned upon. It was the departure from tradition and taking the path less travelled that gave me the adrenalin surge and edge that seemed missing from my life.
It didn't take long before my online activities became a welcomed routine. I very quickly found that I had a type of scenario I was constantly drawn to - an age difference.
I would often find myself chatting with younger girls, flirting with them and initiating virtual affairs over text and email. Most were very short lived; some only spanned the time we connected in the chat room, others I never even got the time of day from. Once in a while, there would be a keeper and we would "date" virtually, sending images and sex text over the course of our affair.
That thrill of having a younger lover, secretly meeting me online, behind her parent's back and my wife's back, was the thrill that gave me the much needed manna for life that I was missing, if not craving.
But like any experience, that too began to loose its potency for instilling intensely high pleasure. I soon began to find the little niggles in communicating with younger girls grow to be large pimples of annoyance. Their caddy attitude, their sense of self-entitlement and their overall princess-ey nature started to press a few of my buttons. It was a very quick way to loose an erection.
Fortunately, like any chat room, there are always a few curious horny guys that were looking to experiment. I found that they were the ones approaching me instead of me having to chase all the time. It was very refreshing to be hit on and lusted for, it peaked my curiosity. The more I started replying to their invitations, the more I began to relax, get turned on and enjoyed the liaisons.
Though I never considered myself gay, as in I've never eyed a handsome man walking down the road or had butterflies in my belly when I saw one, I did find that the idea of having an encounter with a younger boy an incredible turn on. It was so new and different and beyond the realm of my reality.
Furthermore, the taboo factor was high on so many counts that it gave me a deep instant rush of heighten pleasure just thinking about it. This was how my current adventure began.
A window opened on chat room platform and pinged. It was an invitation from a guy who wanted to chat with me. By this time, I was now mostly cruising gay chat rooms, as it was so much easier to get digitally laid than the general rooms.
I assumed it was yet another lustful teenager who fancied the idea of offering himself to an older man, something that I found to be a huge turn on and now actively sought.
However, when I saw the nickname, it read "HandsomeDad".
At this point I would usually close the chat window and ignore the request, I had no interest in older men, but seeing as how it was a quiet night, I was curious and I replied.
He introduced himself as Mark, married, father of one son and also in his early forties. I, in turn, told him my details and we exchanged pleasantries. It wasn't long before we found out that we had very similar stories and desires, being that we both wanted to experience something more and something different from the convention of marriage and middle age.
Mark, like me, was pretty straight and never really fancied being with a man nor had any attraction toward one. However, with the availability of anonymous chat rooms and permission to be whatever one chooses, Mark began to explore and experiment with the thought of virtual sex with guys.
Our conversation was easy and we related well to each other.