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Mistress Kitty uses her strap-on...
They are constantly fighting. When I make decisions, I usually listen to the good side, but when I'm confronted or in danger, the bad side seems to take over, even when I'm doing supposedly good things.
"The job basically went to shit. We set up a plan. We were going to take all of the management hostage, then destroy the plant and then try to get as much media exposure as we could. We were na__ve. We didn't realize how much the media was controlled by the governments and the corporations. Shit, we didn't realize that the governments really were the corporations."
He tried to slow his breathing.
"On the day we went in to grab the management, I totally lost it. I actually killed all of them. Then I killed the CEO on film and sent it to media outlets and to as many members of corporation boards as I could. These were evil men, but I had become them. Every time I put a bullet in them, I thought of the innocent people they had killed. I was a mess. Carl had to shoot me with a tranquilizer in the end. I massacred the whole management team at the plant while the others were rescuing the workers and destroying the facility. I'm not sure if you heard about it because they tried to keep it quiet, but they ended up twisting the story so that we were dangerous terrorists that had to be destroyed. Now, we live here, under their noses. Because we were from all different parts of the world, they thought that we'd scattered, but we came here. It was easier to hide here than anywhere else. We all do odd things as our part of the effort, but it is difficult to pull anything big together without exposing ourselves. The night I met you, I'd just dumped an informer with some insurgents. I believe they were going to kill him."
He smiled wryly.
"The problem is, after the incident at the bar where we rescued you, they will know that at least Carl and I are together. That means they will be coming after us. It means you're in even more danger because they know we have you and they know what we can do. Their urgency and effort to eliminate us will be doubled. But," he said, "your problem has given us something to target. That's why I asked you if you wanted to start this, because once it's started, it has to go all the way. You're shackled to me for now, so unfortunately, you have to be a part of it. The risk you're taking is that I can be very unstable. The Palazonol helps keep my voices quieter, but it can also be unpredictable. It can make me behave so coldly that nothing is beyond me. Nothing."
He drank more beer.
"You're right, I wanted you to be asleep before I took the drug. It takes a few hours to stabilize and I can really sit there talking to myself in a creepy way and I didn't want to scare the crap out of you. I remember everything afterward, but at the time, I can't really control it. It scares even me."
He put the beer down and sat back on the stool. That was enough for now. He didn't want to tell her about how they'd killed his wife and child. He couldn't go back there for now.
"So you see," he said, "you're sort of with the safest person you could be with, but sort of with the most dangerous. If we weren't shackled, then maybe....." He shrugged his shoulders and lifted his palms upwards. "But we are shackled, so you're stuck with me."
Emma smiled and nudged his foot with her bare one, "So you're a little crazy, we all have our faults." She teased softly. "I'm not complaining. At least you don't stink. Could be worse, always worse. I'd like you more if you stocked up on some sodas though. Honestly, I don't know how you can live on beers and coffee...by the way, should you really be drinking AND taking drugs?"
Setting aside her beer, she stretched a little and rolled her shoulders, digesting all the information he had given her.