Free Flat chested Hi-Res Porn Pics

Michael and Maureen read an email from Ruth.

Okay, never mind."

Note to self, get information on laser vision surgery. Where was I? Oh, yeah...

My woman has perfect, perky, little A cup breasts with tiny nipples. She does not have shapely B cup breasts like Jennifer Aniston or Carmen Diaz, full round C cup tits like Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie or D or double D cup breasts with eraser type nipples that make a noise when they pop out of your mouth like Pamela Anderson and Dolly Parton. Still, so what if she does not have the kind of tits that men lust over in Playboy and Penthouse magazines, to me, tits are tits and I love her tits just the same. Sorry, again.

"Hey, Baby, you should try wearing a Wonder bra. I heard they do wonders for your breasts by squishing them together, lifting them up, and giving you a bit of cleavage. Oh, you are wearing a Wonder bra already. Yeah, of course, I thought you were wearing one. Your tits look huge, almost, not really."

Not to self, price out silicone implants.

My woman has a flat ass but I love grabbing her ass. She does not have a proud, round, firm ass like Jennifer Lopez or an outrageous bubble ass like Mary J. Blige. Still, to me, asses are asses, everyone has one or is one, and I love her ass just the same. I'll be right back.

"Sweetie, maybe you should buy your pants in the men's section. Those women's pants make your ass look...do you remember what all the deflated balloons looked like at your 30th birthday party? Yeah, like that."

Note to self, price ass implants along with the breast implants.

My woman has short, stubby, chubby legs that are...well, short, stubby, and chubby. She does not have long, shapely, smooth legs, the kind of legs that makes you want to take your time caressing, kissing, and licking while working your way up to her sweet honey pot, but I lust over her legs just the same. Sorry, yet, again.

"Doll, that black, below the knee skirt really does not look good with those white Bobby socks. They make your legs look so...white. Maybe, you should wear pants...my pants."

My woman is not a movie star, singer, dancer, or television personality, she is a homemaker, but I am as proud of her if she was a celebrity, one who is in the lime light walking down the red carpet with cameras flashing and people cheering. Yeah, I would take my dull homemaking wife to that kind of intoxicatingly beautiful woman and fast and exciting lifestyle any day...I think.

"Honey? Is my nose getting longer? Why do I suddenly feel like Pinocchio?"

My woman is not rich. She does not have money to burn like Oprah Winfrey, nor does she have an inheritance like Paris Hilton or a trust fund like Nicole Richie. She is middle class working poor like me and money is not important to me.

"Cupcake, Wal-Mart is having a big sale and afterwards we can stop at Mickey D's for burgers and fries."

My woman is not talented, a brain, a genius, a prot__g__ or wicked smart, but she is as smart as she needs be to make me happy.

"What's that, Hon? No, chicken of the sea is not chicken but tuna fish."

My woman is no Suzy Homemaker, Betty Crocker, Julia Child, Rachael Ray, Mrs. Fields, or Martha Stewart, but she makes a mean microwave meal.

"Sweetie, I told you that you cannot put tin foil in the microwave. Still, the meatloaf looks okay. Oh, it's chicken? Then, I'd throw this out. It doesn't look too good. And no Sweetie, you cannot dry Buster in the microwave after his bath."

My woman is no Dear Abby, Mrs. Manners, or Emily Post, but I can go to her with any problem and get straight from the heart good advice.

"So, tell me again why you think I should trade my F150 for a Mini Cooper?"

My woman is no Florence Nightingale, Mother Theresa, or Hot lips Houlahan, but she takes good care of me when I am sick.

"My Love, are you sure it is feed a fever and starve a cold and not the other way around? 'Cause I only have a cold and I am really hungry."

My woman is not a stand up comic like Rosanne Barr, Ellen DeGeneris or Joan Rivers, but she sure makes me laugh.

"Pudding Pie, what is this $1,000 donation charged on my credi

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