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I thought that I should get to know her.

While they ate James straightened out Shanon's clothing, it had become rather messy during the story telling. A few families were starting to show up so he confined his affections to playful caresses.

A bright red ball bounced toward them. James looked up. A kid was running after it. He couldn't be more than six.

"Hey mister! Can I have my bally back?"

"Uh . . ." James froze. He should just take the ball and toss it over to the kid. But something could go wrong. If the ball slipped out of his hand and it someone. Or if it wasn't really the kid's ball. Or the boys mother might think he was a pedophile. "I . . . uh . . . I . . ."

"You alright, mister?"

"I'm . . ." He couldn't move. It was ridiculous. Throwing a ball to someone was supposed to be simple. People did it every day. James was convinced it would kill him. He didn't know how but something would go wrong.

Shanon intervened. She picked up the ball and tossed it over to the kid. "Here you go. He's just tired."

"Thanks lady!"

"You're welcome." Shanon watched the kid run back to his friends then turned to James. "Are you okay, sir?"

"I c- can't move." James tried to calm himself down. It was just Shanon she wasn't going to hurt him. "Just . . . just . . ."

He started hyperventilate.

"Master? Oh my god!"

"Quiet, pet."

"No! You need help. I don't care if you want to punish me or if you'll get angry at me. I'm going to get you help orders or not."

"I'm alright. Just s- s- s- stop. That's an . . . that's an . . ." His voice cut out completely.

Shanon helped James to his feet and brought him to one of the tiny shaded pavilions that interrupted the grass at odd intervals. Without thinking Shanon dropped to her knees and hugged James' legs. It was so frightening. Her Master was terribly upset and she'd disobeyed him. But she had to help. She had to.

"It's okay, Master. It's okay."

It took ten minutes for him to relax enough to speak.

"I'm so sorry, pet."

Shanon squeezed his legs more tightly. He looked down, she was terrified. It was his fault. He was supposed to protect her, keep her safe and happy as his puppy. Now he'd made a mistake. Worse than that he'd tried to use her in order to solve his own problems.

James had told her once that he didn't want a puppy because he needed to control something. It was still true. He hoped it was still true.

"Come up here. I want to hold my puppy."

She climbed up and he wrapped his arms around her. James hugged her tightly and whispered words of apology in her ear. When he finally let go James could seen in her eyes that she loved him anyway. He'd screwed up. He'd tried his best and failed. She still loved him. Unconditionally.

When he asked her to forgive him she refused.

"You didn't do anything wrong, sir."

"I put you in a position you never should have been in. Choosing between orders and my safety, anyone's safety, should never have to happen. You're supposed to be protected by me. I want to keep you safe. Please forgive me, Shanon."

"No! It's okay. I love you no matter what you do. It's okay."

Unconditional love. He felt sick. Shanon was going to break he kept going on like this. Time to switch roles and comfort her. It would help him too. "Pet, do you realize you disobeyed an order?"

"Yes, sir."

"If you were in that same position again would you still do it?"

Shanon looked down. She knew the answer would disappoint him but she couldn't lie, she couldn't even refuse to answer. "I would, sir."

A sharp tug on her pony-tail trapped Shanon in her Master's eyes. He wiped away a tear with his free hand. "Good girl."

He turned her around and removed her hair tie. For several minutes he played with her hair. Eventually James decided it was perfect the way it had been. He sent her back to the house to get the car and they drove back in an understanding silence.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

James poured milk into Shanon's bowl and got a glass of ice water for himself.

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